from my very own bedroom on east 14th

academically speaking, this year was mediocre at best. i’ve probably worked harder these past couple of weeks than i have throughout the year, but i know that the results won’t be stellar because, at this point, i’m just scrambling to make up for my procrastination. i could have put more effort in earlier, but there’s nothing i can do now except take away from this the knowledge that i can’t expect to properly and fully function if i continue to go on in this manner. i can’t just rely on the fact that i think i’ll pull through. it’s unrealistic.

my last exam is this morning at 8; after that my school year will be over. i’m pretty indifferent about it all coming to an end. 

after all of this i want to sleep for days, but first i have to move into, clean, unpack and set up furniture for my new apartment. then i will sleep, and when i wake up, it’ll be summer break.  

some things that i want to do:
- go to a zoo and the botanical garden, my roommate’s been wanting to go but we haven’t had time to during the semester
- see my friends; make sure they’re still alive and not rush my time with them
- drunch so hard i puke in the afternoon. actually, i would prefer not to vom. i just want to nurse a nice buzz throughout the day supplemented by naps
- watch all the documentaries i’ve put aside. catch up on mad men, etc.
- resume going on late night/early morning walks fueled by whatever i can get my hands on. once i got to the met from union square and got free drinks along the way from the sunburnt calf. that was an ace experience.
- spend a day at the whitney, the biennial is almost over so i have to get on this as soon as possible. maybe give the frick another chance.
- actually, truly, honestly, bake, and prepare real foods. revel in the fact that i’ll have time to wash and cut my produce instead of settling for microwavable stuffs.
- lay down, feel, enjoy the sun, in my room, know that i don’t have to do anything. read. smoke. allow myself to go, do, see with abandon.

this will all be mine in a few days, but for now i’ve settled for watching the sun rise as i cram for computer programming.

“cass” by a-morir